i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
