This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
