u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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