Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
