I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How does one acquire holy water?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
