Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fuck appropriateness.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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