okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
