I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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