Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
