He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
