i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
