Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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