My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
