help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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