She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
