How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
