so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
