I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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