overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
