We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
