wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
