Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
