i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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