did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
