i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize