O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
