He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
