i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
