let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
