I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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