you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's official drugs can't kill me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
