Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
