i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just invented taco cereal.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
