My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
