You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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