There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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