Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Randomize
