That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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