Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
