dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
