never play flip cup with pint glasses
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
