i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's never too late to be topless.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
