Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
