what is it with giant penises always finding me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
