yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
