Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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