In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
