i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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