I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
