There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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