your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
