Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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