The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just sucked dick on a ferry
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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