Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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