So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
