dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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