THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
