You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
