I'm gonna have a badass scar
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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