Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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